WFH? Here's how to maintain good mental health while telecommuting and practicing social distancing
Working From Home Wellbeing: what can we do to maintain good mental health as we telecommute and practice social distancing?
I have worked from home as a freelancer for almost thirty years, like many of us in the fashion industry I am used to having to rapidly change working plans and get creative with resources. Some of us love the constantly changing nature of working in fashion, isn’t that part of the always-something-different nature of this industry? But even if we are change junkies our nervous systems thrive on stability, our brains like routines and patterns, our nervous system likes certainty; we operate optimally when we know when we are going to be doing something: time creates a sense of safety. In our lives before all this viral chaos, we knew that we needed to catch that 8 15 train to get to the office, we planned to meet a friend at 7 pm, and our regular Thursday lunchtime yoga class meant tomorrow was Friday. When that grid on which we hang our lives is disrupted, particularly on the scale we’re seeing with COVID-19, the uncertainty generates unease. Much of this anxiety is the not knowing what is the hell is going to happen next - we can’t do a lot about that not knowingness - but we can structure our days so that we have a feeling of continuity and control to help us to experience safety in the middle of uncertainty.
Therefore one of the first ways you can calmly approach working from home is to go back to very basic timetabling; map out your day. And if you are in a household with others do this together. Even if you are flat-sharing and not living with partners or trying to make space for children at home, sit around the table and work out how your days are going to look both for you as an individual and as a shared collective. And not just work stuff. Write out what you are going to do for fun, for leisure, for physical activity, for dating…all the usual stuff that is in your life can be done from home, but you need to know what those elements are and how they are going to fit.
One of the other benefits of having a list is the sense of achievement we experience at the end of each day when those goals have been achieved: this week I have added the most mundane tasks to my daily timetable as I need the reassurance that I am still moving forward even though it may feel that some days I haven’t got a clue. And it’s okay to feel like that too.
Another way to create stability is to pick an organising principle – decide on a positive inspiring word and put it on the fridge door. Everyone in the household can use this as a prompt for the day. The organizing principle sets the direction for the day whether individually or collectively and creates stable ground in unstable times. I extend this to our Instagram with a theme for each day which acts as a daily dress code, a reminder to have fun and a way to connect to others.
Right now we are building new habits and if we take the time to build them on a strong foundation they will serve us well. We can use this time to think about what is important in our lives. Not what we should do or what we have had to do in the past. If we can carve a space for self-reflection in our day that will naturally lead us to feel more connected to our own emotions and help us to sit with our feelings.
We could even come through this with a greater understanding of how we are uniquely authentic: it could well be with less daily feedback we learn to see through our own eyes and trust our own guidance. We could discover that crafting a life and a work that works for us - that provides deep satisfaction and enables us to live, play, and work well - isn’t what we thought it was: isn’t dependant on external validation, being gifted dresses from key brands, sitting in the right spots at fashion weeks or having an Insta like from a fashion celeb.
Working from home gives us a chance to play with what our version of an authentic life might be like. We can daydream about who we most want to become and how we might more easily become that person even under distressing and difficult circumstances. And if we want to try that role on for size we can dress the part!
Applied positive psychology has taught me that relationships are the first and foremost component of wellbeing: now more than ever, we need to stay connected; our positive relationship with ourselves, our families, colleagues and friends - be that in forced quarantine together or virtually if we are apart – need to be central in our wellbeing plan. Think about how you want to feel and what you want to have achieved when life outside is resumed? Will you care if you missed a work deadline or is it more important that you noticed that your BF hadn’t been on HouseParty for a few days and called her in the midst of her meltdown? (NB: Therapists are available virtually on Skype and WhatsApp if you need more support.)
We need to plan for how we want to feel when this is over: we need to set good collective examples to support each other with our emotions as well as practical issues. Planning may not sound particularly sexy, you may think that slobbing in your PJs un-showered is no big deal, or that there is no point putting on heels if you’re only going across the kitchen for coffee, but the science of happiness shows that these little things can make all the difference in keeping our mental wealth topped up.
We are trendsetters by nature in the fashion industry, let’s set a stylishly new way of working from home that prioritizes wellbeing with a wider reach than doing a yoga Zoom class.
(Note: Not that there is anything wrong with Zoom-fitness of course, in fact, I think it will revolutionise the fitness industry!)
Ten top tips for WFH…
Make a list. What you put on it is your choice. You may never have quite this same opportunity to be more YOU ever again
Plan. But if its one of those days when you want to sit in the sun, then do so
Be kind to yourself, be compassionate with others, and encourage a cycle of positive reciprocity
Think in advance about what situations are likely to make you extra stressed and have ideas about dealing with them before the emotions run amok
Include everyone in your household in the weekly plans - if someone is having a kitchen disco at 6 on Thursday you don't want to schedule your group meditation at that time
Ask yourself how you want to feel after this is over and make sure you are considering that when planning
Remember that those best outfits can be just as life-affirming when worn for breakfast on your own
Don't let social contacts slip - find ways: make lists; plan
This could be the perfect time to reset who you want to be. Use this time to explore that creatively. make the most of this time to create new habits that support your long-term wellbeing
Nothing will be the same after this but we can all emerge with increased self-awareness and extra emotional intelligence if we choose to
Rebecca Smith is the editor of Goldie Magazine, an independent publication dedicated to the growing market of motivated, aspirational older people who see ageing in a positive way. She worked in the fashion industry in various roles until a life-changing moment where she retrained as a counsellor and focused on therapy for creatives. After completing an MSc in Applied Positive Psychology Rebecca created WearingWellbeing as a platform to discuss how fashion can be good for us. Clothes have always made her happy.
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